Estate Planning is Queer AF.
Estate planning for real-life families.
You already know this:
The law assumes a very specific life.
Married (to someone of the opposite sex).
Biological Relatives.
2.5 tiny humans.
Everyone gets along.
If that’s not your life, because let’s be honest, in our community, this is rarely the case…The California default rules will not do what you want them to.
An estate plan isn’t about money.
It’s about who is allowed to be with you when you can’t speak. It’s about who is going to advocate for you when you’re unable to. It’s about who is going to care for your partner, your kid, your furbabies. It’s about who do we need to keep the hell away from you.
Your Home Legal builds estate plans specifically for your chosen family, partners, co-parents, poly families, married and unmarried couples whose real support systems are not defined by marriage or blood.
A house
Kids
A spouse
Financial Power of Attorney
This one matters just as much.
If you can’t take care of your own life, someone has to be able to:
access your accounts
pay your rent or mortgage
deal with insurance
manage you benefits and investments
talk to banks and lawyers
sign documents
take care of your dependents (financially)
Without it - your people are going to need to go to court to gain legal authority to do these things. That process is expensive, public and slow. Without clear instructions on who you trust to manage your life when you can’t, the court is going to rely on the statements of those who ask the court for permission.
There are two kinds of financial powers of attorney - durable power of attorney and a California-specific statutory power of attorney. The biggest difference between these two documents is when do these actually work.
A durable power of attorney turns on once you lose capacity. The statutory power of attorney is active the moment you sign it. There are benefits (and drawbacks) to both and something we’ll spend a great deal of time talking about.
Your relationships are real. But institutions run on documentation and if your relationships don’t fit in the institutional boxes - it makes living your life that much more difficult.
Estate planning makes your real life legally recognizable.
We help clients who are:
unmarried partners (you’re legal strangers - the law won’t care how long you’ve been together - especially in California where common law marriage doesn’t exist)
LBGTQIA+ couples (in whatever flavor you come in!)
Cohabitating friends or partners who own real estate together (for real - this is a huge one that’s not talked about enough)
Polyamorous households (did you know we can craft plans that take care of all of the people you want?)
People estranged from their bio families (don’t let the default rules let your shitty family benefit)
Single people, Married people, Trans people, Non-binary people, Gays, Lesbians and everyone else under our incredible rainbow
Non-Traditional Families Really Need the Paperwork
This is probably one of our favorite things to work on with clients. Most standard medical directives are generic - yours shouldn’t be. We help you craft health care plans to address you and your unique needs, specifically:
Highly Customizable Health Care Directives
Identity
chosen name
proper pronoun usage for you and your people
who can make decisions
who can receive information
Gender Affirming Care
Pregnancy & Reproductive Care
Yes - we also plan for death. Because if there’s one guarantee in life, it’s that it will end at some point.
We make sure:
your chosen people inherit
guardianship choices are documented and your little humans are protected
the right people are named to handle your stuff after death
your pets are cared for
probate is avoided as much as possible
The crisis and chaos you’re most likely to experience is temporary incapacity, not dying. And that’s exactly where LGBTQ+ clients are most vulnerable without the right documents in place.
customized decision-making authority
fertility treatment preferences
abortion care
jurisdiction preferences for care (if you’re in an area that criminalizes or degrades pregnancy-related care)
Now What?
Congratulations! You’ve made it this far. If you want to dig a little deeper about your estate plan, we’re here to help. This isn’t a pressure consult - definitely not our style. It’s a conversation about what would happen if something went wrong tomorrow and how to prevent the bad stuff from happening and honoring all of the really amazing things about your life.
You’ll leave knowing:
who would be in charge today
where the risks are
what you actually need
Talking about dying sucks. We make it suck a little less and by the end, we promise you’ll feel a whole lot better about what happens in the future. If you’re ready to learn more, schedule a complimentary consultation with us.
Privacy
who can be present and receive information
control over disclosure
who needs to be kept away
generally keeps this process out of court
This is not one-size-fits-all. It’s built by you - for you.
What about a Will or Trust?
Advanced Health Care Directive
This document answers:
Who is allowed to talk to doctors?
Who makes decisions about treatment or end of life decisions?
Who can access your medical records?
Without it, the hospital must look to legal relatives first - even if they’re not the people you trust.
Your medical power of attorney can include detailed instructions about:
gender affirming care
continuation of hormone replacement therapy
surgical decision-making authority
pregnancy and abortion related care
fertility and reproductive decisions
visitation rights
privacy protections (who do we need to keep away)
end-of-life decisions
You choose the decisions-makers.
You choose the boundaries.
You choose the instructions.
continuation of hormone therapy
surgical consent authority
refusal of interference by unsupportive family
appearance maintenance
You DO NOT need these things
to need an estate plan:
A “big” estate
To be old
To be rich
You DO need an estate plan if:
You have a pulse (I’m totally serious)
You are over the age of 18 (psst - your parents lose legal authority to make decisions for you after you turn 18)
You’re unmarried and have a partner you want to provide for.
You’re in a poly relationship and want to provide for your partners.
You have toxic families members who are unsafe and you wouldn’t want them making medical or financial decisions for you.
You’re trans or non-binary and want a plan that reflects who you are, including proper pronoun usage, proper name, gender-affirming care authority - including appearance.
You have kids or real estate. These are two huge reasons to have a plan, but definitely not the only reason.
So…yeah. You need one.
What Actually Happens Without a Plan?
If you are incapacitated (can’t make decisions for yourself because of a mental or physical limitation) or you die without a plan in place, the State of California has a plan for you…and it might not be what you expect.
Who makes medical decisions: priority to next of legal kin
Who controls finances: no one until the court appoints someone
Who inherits: biological relatives (in a very particular order)
Hospitals and banks follow paperwork - not relationships.
What we’ve seen:
partners locked out of hospital rooms
parents who aren’t supportive given full authority over you
estranged relatives inheriting everything
friends forced to go to court just to try to protect you
When you don’t have a plan in place, your people have to go to court to ask for permission to handle your stuff. This is a very public and expensive process. There are also no hard and fast rules about who can ask the court for permission to take care of your stuff while you’re alive. This process is called conservatorship. Think Britney Spears.
When you die without a plan, your family will find themselves in Probate Court. Which is another very expensive, very public process. You also have zero control over who gets your stuff when you die without a plan. When you die, California law dictates a very strict order of biological relatives who will receive everything.